lillianstone
Lillian Stone
lillianstone
Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling beagles and baked goods in Chicago. Debut essay collection, EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE, publishing in 2023 via Dey Street/HarperCollins.

You know, those Clydesdales are apparently smaller than what they used to be in the past.  They’re friendly wee buggers too (there’s a farm near where I live where they have a pair - Ochil and Campsie - who pretty much frolic over when kids come to see them).  My Gran has one of Campsie’s old shoes hanging over her Read more

They came to the school I work at 3 years ago. You’re right, it was really cool. And they had a Dalmation riding with them who clearly thought all the people were there to see him.  Read more

They came through my town as part of some festival a few years ago, and they were incredible to see. They are giants, but also so gentle. And when they all move together it’s a thing of beauty.  Read more

In the pre-InBev days, it was widely known that the Clydesdales were treated better than the employees. And we were treated well! They definitely are living their best lives. Read more

Budweiser Clydesdale handlers aren’t allowed to give the horses outside treats. Read more

Hard pass. I got one of these Garlic Twisters from the local kitchen store and it is my go to. Handles 98% of my garlic and ginger chopping needs just fine. Can rinse out with some hot water and be done with it.

This isn’t really a new idea. My mum has had a garlic press nearly identical to this for at least the last 15 or 20 years. The only difference is that with hers the pins for clearing the holes are fixed in place on the back of the handle rather than being a moving part inside the thing. It works well enough but I Read more

This is clearly a case for the Inspector of Gadgets. Once it gets, uh, manufactured.  Read more

screw activated SlapChop?....a ScrewChop? 2 Clove Screw? Read more

Cut the bottoms of the cloves off. Flatten with a large blade. Remove the paper. Read more

My Zyliss garlic press you leave the skin on and it doesn’t get caught in the holes. Read more

If he were Italian, I’d say that’s an impertinent question for his wife. Read more

The fact that is has pins to push out the bottom and clear the holes means your ending up with little hole punches of garlic skin with the crushed garlic.  Gross.  Besides its not exactly hard to peel garlic cloves anyway.  Take said garlic with skin put on cutting board place the side of a knife on it and hit said Read more

I’ll replace the Reeses Cup with a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Read more

For me it’s less about how much I’m willing to pay for a Reese’s Cup today and more about how much they’re going to expect me to pay in a year. Inflation is one thing but we’re in a state of unnatural inflation. Sooner or later the supply chain issues will rectify by either covid no longer stressing them due to any Read more

Demand went up so they raised the price. The price on anything keeps going up until sales start dropping.
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Most likely made by a chef; my cousin’s the head chef over a fairly successful college team, and he told me that the nutritionists he works with are incredibly picky about the quality of the food that the athletes get. No fast food whatsoever; the shittiest thing he feeds them is hand-made salad when they lose a game. Read more

$10. I’d pay $10 for a Reese’s peanut butter cup package of two.
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A little Crayola goes a long way. Read more

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