lillianstone
Lillian Stone
lillianstone
Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling beagles and baked goods in Chicago. Debut essay collection, EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE, publishing in 2023 via Dey Street/HarperCollins.

I’ve been using this improvised recipe for a few years now, and it’s always a hit: Read more

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Anytime I see atomic age stock photos I always think of this dandy film LOL!

The closest I have ever come to seeing this in the wild was a lime sherbet margarita float. 10/10, would drink again. Read more

“hot meat swirl” also just became the name of a first place fantasy football team...just rolls off the tongue. Read more

What the hell is wrong with the people in that punch party photo? They look like they’re summoning the ghost of Joseph Smith. Read more

That recipe for sherbet punch sends me back to my childhood in the 80s, when my grandparents would have a giant punch bowl full of the stuff at any family gathering. Excuse me while I out and buy the stuff to make my own, but with some “adult” upgrades like vodka..... Read more

If your list does not include either Smoking Bishop or a proper Wassail (made with beer, to distinguish it from mere mulled wine or cider), I will *personally* make sure that the Ghost of Christmases Past haunts you to the end of your days. Read more

This + anything = pure punch fun

Given the behavior I’ve seen when I had to fly, and what I’ve read about over the past few years at airports and in the air, I’m not sure that we haven’t already replaced passengers with pigs.
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To whit, a coworker left a note on the door to the walk-in today that said, “there’s a turker in the walk-in,” to which I responded with a note that said, “KILL IT! KILL IT!”
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A few commenters seemed to think the video constituted animal cruelty, with one writing, “That’s not even remotely funny.” Read more

I absolutely love Naylor's butter mints. They come in a tub and I've only been able to find them at Cracker Barrel. They are soft, buttery and just minty enough not to taste like toothpaste. I'm an old lady trapped in a 30s something body and have always loved the nostalgic, rarely known candies. My father used to put Read more

Oh shit. My grandmother used to carry these things around in her purse, loosely wrapped in crumpled tissue or sometimes just flat out free-floating with change and lipstick and keys and a lucky rabbit’s foot with the fur falling out. Read more

One thing I can’t figure out - is this technically the genre of mints that Hickory Farms meltaway mints fall under (https://www.hickoryfarms.com/sweets/mints/mini-meltaway-mints-003867.html?gridindex=1&cgid=mints#start=1)? That’s the exact nostalgic holiday mint for me and I’ve been trying to find a good recipe to Read more

Glad to see this written up this way here, still. Texted it to my indigenous family that will once again cater my TG.
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Thank you for this. Thank you for letting First Nations people speak their truth too! This was a really good read. Read more

Awesome article. Great work. The Chicago Tribune tried to do a similar article this past week or so, but their fitting it into a fine-dining framework lessened its impact and audience reach, i think. This one is one that, were I its author, I’d remember and be proud of years later, and I hope that will be your Read more