You have to pile on so much lox to balance out all that bread. Read more

You should cut your mom in. She had the best line: “cow’s answer to Spam.” Read more

It...somehow seems to work, in this case. I think? And yes, somethings never change. I still have a number if trash buds mixed among my taste buds. Maybe this explains the blue box Kraft Mac and Cheese phenomenon? I can whip up some kick ass cheese mac, but I’ll still shovel that box stuff in without much issue.
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Oh man this opened up so many memories. When I was 9/10 my mom was pregnant, and her already sensitive nose was dialed up to 11. The only cooked food she could stand the smell of, and the food she craved 24/7 was Steak-Umms. For 9 months we legit ate them 6-7 days a week occasionally more than once a day. You would… Read more

This was probably the best thing I've read in a long time! Read more

I’ve never had a Steak-umm but the way the meat is prepared sounds a lot like Arby’s. And I’ve eaten a lot of room temperature Arby’s aged in a locker during the school day. My parents were big on health food and raised us without dairy (which must have been exhausting in the 1980's) so every now and again they would… Read more

I used to be tempted to buy Steak-umms because they’re sliced thin enough that the meat won’t get tough. But shabu shabu sliced ribeye is so much better for steak sandwiches, gyu-don, etc...
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Basically me but with Yoo-Hoo. Ugh, just thinking of the watery consistency with whatever gave it that “chocolate” taste... Read more

The sandwich wait time reminds of a story (possibly apocryphal) about the Vienna company. They upgraded their facility to be more efficient but the resulting hot dogs didn’t taste right. They repeatedly reviewed every part of the production line looking for something that was going wrong. Finally, they interviewed the… Read more

This was fantastically written with and incredibly satisfying ending. That is all. Read more

What your dad did to you was abuse. Talking about it is a good step towards healing. Read more

Truly a guilty pleasure food. Raised with them and can’t imagine a rough weekend of binge-drinking not being remedied by these (with sauteed onions and lots of cheese whiz). Read more

My parents ate them when I was a kid because they’re cheap as hell and we were poor as shit in the ‘80s.  They’ve literally always given me the runs though so I didn’t have to eat them when my parents did after the first couple incidents...
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Are we all related? My mom didn’t use salt or pepper because my dad didnt like “spice”. I thought pork chops were bland and terrible, chicken breasts were rubbery and that box mashed potatoes were also used as grout.. Read more

Those gyro kits, man... they’re terrible, but I definitely ate the entire kit in one sitting. Read more

Steak Umms were rarely eaten in my house, but this article reminds me of the gyro kits my mom would buy. I would inevitably eat an entire package after school.  I was an unhealthy child/teen/young adult. Read more

I still love ‘em. They’re good for a quick cheesesteak if I’m in the mood. Read more

Are you my sister? I thought I hated steak and pork chops because of my mom's cooking. To her, "ham" and "spam" were synonymous and ramen was pasta night. I'm only now recovering in my mid thirties.  Read more

I went to Firehouse Subs and had their cheesesteak yesterday and it was pretty damn close. Read more