I abhor all sugary cereals, but I will admit I’ve had Cap’n Crunch coated French toast before and enjoyed it immensely, but as a dessert. Still can’t understand how anyone can eat that stuff as part of a balanced breakfast.  Read more

Sixteen years of marriage and I’ve yet to set foot in Iowa! My husband moved to Brooklyn when he was 14-months old so we get along just fine.  Read more

I have been praying for this country to be swept my Scottish Mania for years, but alas, no dice. First there was the haggis barrier, and then once everybody learned that Trump’s family was Scottish it pretty much doomed it all to hell. Read more

If people didn’t love soggy popcorn, then they wouldn’t put hot movie theater butter on it. Not saying this salad is good since I haven’t tried it, but flavorings aside, mayo and movie theater butter are cousins.  Read more

And yet people love popcorn drenched in movie theater butter, which is a blend of oils just like mayonnaise! Plus the fake butter is hot, which the mayo is cold. Again, I haven’t tried this salad, but the rejection of its dressing is 100% a perception issue.

Raisins are entirely different than grapes because they’re… Read more

Every morning I sit at my desk and think “How can I ruin these peoples’ lives today?” It’s the motivation I need to get me through the day. Read more

I haven’t tried it, but this is a principle issue! Let ye who knoweth popcorn salads cast the first stone.  Read more

Technically, cereal is soup. If you add sliced banana, it’s stew.  Read more

I felt the same exact way, then I checked a walkthrough and realized I was playing it entirely wrong. Once I figured that out, it’s really fun!  Read more

Keeping you on your towes, DeadElvis. Read more

I do not understand how he is still alive with his eating habits. It might be a Keith Richards effect, and he’s so full of preservatives that he’ll never die. Read more

I’ve got a lot of stuff doing on here Dead Elvis! Between the writing and the homeschooling two kids, and brainstorming slideshows for you personally. Read more

I very much appreciate your appreciation!  Read more

If anyone is interested, I wrote this about James Buchanan a few years back. Had a picnic on his grave, too! Both my sons farted on it, which delighted them. The more they learn about American history, the more graves they want to fart on. (Btw after you read it, you should definitely come back to The Takeout to… Read more

Take pics and tag me in them! Read more

The ones that need a real washing get turned inside out and run on the top rack of the dishwasher after I’ve given them a spritz of bleach spray and a hot rinse. I’ve been using these for about two months now and have zero complaints. They’re also really good for storing flour, sugar, rice, beans, and all that other… Read more

I told them they didn’t have to do that, but they insisted. That’s why you should only do that when they’re empty, and take the time to have a nice chit-chat with the person making the tortillas. Not enough people ask them how their days are going, and they like meeting friendly customers, which are also, sadly, a… Read more

That’s why I’m telling to you do this NOW before it takes off. Order like 60, or more. Go buy a chest freezer and stock up before this ends up on their radar.  Read more

I had no idea so much work went into Chipotle’s tortillas til I wrote this, and now I love them a million times more! Read more

^^^This might be my favorite movie. I’ll say something smart and pretentious when asked in person, but in reality, if I ever see this movie on somewhere, I will drop everything I’m doing and watch the whole thing.  Read more