I feel like squirrels would do really well with pizza bagels.  Read more

I’d go with a fine banana wine, but failing that, you can just mix a bunch of different fruit wines together and hope for the best.  Read more

I truly am an artiste:

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You most certainly can! Just thaw completely before you bake.  Read more

If you want to fill yours with apricot jam, it’s easy! Put about a tablespoon of it in the center of the wide end, fold in the sides to cover, roll up, and bake as directed.  Read more

If this goddamn pandemic ends I will come to your hospital and cook for you guys anytime. (You’ve got to pay for airfare and lodging, though, because I make a writer’s salary) Read more

What about Buffalo wings? Those are the definition of spicy chicken, and it’s just fried wings tossed in hot sauce and butter.  Read more

You can! They’ll customize anything you want if you ask or use the app. Read more

Aw shucks! You’re too kind. You can cry all you’d like and I’ll never judge you! Read more

BRD! They’re one of the restaurants in this town that I’m simply fanatical over. It’s very hard to objectively review chicken sandwiches when this place is your go-to spot:

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They don’t line up perfectly, but the pineapple flavor hits in much the same way grapes do. I’m thinking of it like champagne made from fruit that isn’t wine grapes. The fizziness is just beautiful, and I love every flavor I’ve tried.  Read more

I’d given up on kombucha years ago, as I never found one that tasted good. It seems that in the years since, the options available have gotten a lot better! I’m excited to explore more for this column.  Read more

OH GODDAMNIT CANADA WHY ARE YOU SO AWESOME Read more

Thank you so much! I’ve been having a rough day, and this comment made me smile. I appreciate you being here, and hope you’ll hang around this corner of the internet more often.  Read more

Oh you love it when I talk mayo to you.  Read more

I’d heard about Duke’s my whole life, but couldn’t understand why people would be getting so pumped about mayonnaise. It’s not the sort of condiment you expect to get excited over. Then I finally tried it, and it all makes sense. Very rarely does something live up to the hype, much less exceed it.  Read more

Sometimes you just want a McChicken with heated seats and a sunroof. Is that too much to ask?  Read more

1: I find the Wendy’s spicy chicken to have a chemical aftertaste. Generally, I’d say McDonald’s has more in common with Wendy’s than it does with Popeyes.

2: I’d say they’re equally spicy, but it’s been months since I’ve had a spicy McNugget. I don’t think Wendy’s or Popeyes’ spicy chicken has any heat at all, so… Read more

I’m happy McDonald’s didn’t try a second breading, because they’d just screw it up. Popeyes sticks to one thing—chicken—and does it well. McDonald’s does too many things, and doesn’t need to make things more complicated than they need to be. Give me one solid base model and let me jazz it up as I see fit. There’s a… Read more

There’s a hack to get around this, which applies to just about all fast food concepts: if you’re incredibly nice to the staff and ask them to fry you a fresh piece of chicken, they’ll do it. Smile, ask how their day is going, compliment their nails or jewelry, tell them they look great that day. It’s really just… Read more