8 of the Horniest Aphrodisiacs (and How to Cook Them for Valentine's Day)

While most of the aphrodisiac qualities of artichokes are attached to folklore, well, that lore must have come from at least a morsel of truth, right? According to Greek myth, the very first artichoke was a woman who scorned Zeus—he turned her into the vegetable as an act of revenge. Perhaps it’s that association to womanhood that makes this edible thistle particularly sexy. There are records from a 17th-century sexologist reporting that Swedish women who were feeling sexually rejected would serve their husbands artichokes to get their blood pumping. Whether or not you believe the lore, these babies are loaded with nutrients so they certainly won’t hurt your stamina.

Artichoke Recipes:

• Artichoke Toast Topping
• Braised Artichokes in Tart Tomato Sauce

Asparagus falls into the category of “phallic and therefore sexy.” Back in the day it was the French who really pushed its sensual properties, allegedly eating three meals of just asparagus the day before their weddings for a libido boost. What these little guys are probably actually doing to help is cleansing your urinary tract and providing much-needed extra energy for getting down to business.

Asparagus Recipes:

• Boil-steamed Asparagus
• Sichuan Cumin Asparagus

Doesn’t just thinking about chocolate get you in the mood? It’s said that Moctezuma II used to drink 50 cups of chocolate a day to keep his sex drive at full throttle. While modern day doctors haven’t proven the connection directly to your libido (and would probably recommend drinking way less chocolate), eating the stuff does provide feelings of euphoria and dark chocolate in particular features antioxidants that promote sexual health.

Chocolate Recipes:

• Chocolate Ganache
• 18 more ridiculously chocolatey recipes

A honeymoon can be the sexiest time in a couple’s life. One piece of lore is that it was so named because in the fifth-century couples would be gifted a month’s supply of honey mead to assist the newlyweds with procreation. Scientifically speaking, the boron in honey can boost your sex hormone levels—but you’d probably have to eat more than an entire jar to physically feel the effects. Still, why not have just a little taste to see?

Honey Recipes:

• Honey-Chipotle Drizzling Sauce
• Honey-Fermented Garlic
• Honey Garlic Crispy Beef
• Honey Walnut Shrimp
• Hot Honey
• Salted Honey Butter Corn Muffins

Casanova himself was rumored to eat 50 oysters before each date, so why should you be any different? When it comes to shellfish, it’s all about the zinc, which not only positively affects your dopamine levels, but in large quantities can boost fertility and keep blood flowing right along. Go ahead and slurp up!

Oyster Recipes:

• Grilled Oysters with Butter and Romano Cheese
  
• ...Or buy some Canned Smoked Oysters

Consider pistachios nature’s Viagra—there are honest to goodness studies that have been done proving these little guys’ erectile dysfunction fighting power. The men in the study saw a difference after eating 3.5 ounces of the nuts a day for three weeks. If you’re looking to get busy sooner than that, better start pounding the pistachios in any form you can.

Pistachio Recipes:

• Green Stuff
• Rice Pudding
• Spumoni

There are many a fruit that are yonic in nature, and pomegranate just happens to also appear as if overflowing with fertility. In Greek mythology, the goddess of love, Aphrodite, was the one who planted the first pomegranate tree, so it’s said to have those lovey-dovey feelings built right in. In recent years, pomegranate juice has been advertised as the sexiest drink alive, and while there might be some truth to its support of sexual health, the only studies that exist were conducted by those same juice companies. Time to take the experiment into your own hands.

Pomegranate Recipes:

• Walnut-Stuffed Eggplant
• Muhammara Gazpacho

Nothing phallic or yonic here—strawberries are shaped like hearts, the ultimate representation of not just sex but love. In ancient Rome, strawberries were said to be the fruit of Venus, the goddess of love. These days they are touted as one of the most antioxidant-rich fruits out there. And remember, antioxidants = healthy bodies for boning.

Strawberry Recipes:

• Betty Crocker’s Strawberry Pretzel “Salad”
• Pretty In Pink ice cream
• Strawberry Buttermilk Snowball